he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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