I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
