Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
time to smoke my breakfast
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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