Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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