hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
