I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
