just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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