Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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