Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
