how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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