very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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