Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
