But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
