Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
