in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
where does the pee come out of this thing
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Drake has all the answers
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
