I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
