is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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