i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
