Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
