Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"

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  (314): he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??" http://tfl.nu/y012
  Replies (125) Good night (1369) Bad night (22650)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME

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  (724): As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME http://tfl.nu/k5kv
  Replies (9) Good night (4183) Bad night (536)
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  (845): View more from New York

  What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

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  (845): What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank... http://tfl.nu/1rf9
  Replies (59) Good night (879) Bad night (5225)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

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  (936): She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while. http://tfl.nu/5c77
  Replies (33) Good night (1283) Bad night (8665)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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  (765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw
  Replies (11) Good night (1210) Bad night (3759)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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  (971): eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them http://tfl.nu/lmi8
  Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (4308)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2904) Bad night (822)
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  (845): View more from New York

  officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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  (845): officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand. http://tfl.nu/8nd1
  Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (921)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...

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  (919): Why is there a condom in the dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/a7l1
  Replies (20) Good night (823) Bad night (1215)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?

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  (773): which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend? http://tfl.nu/b2t3
  Replies (12) Good night (991) Bad night (604)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend

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  (250): We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend http://tfl.nu/c0is
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (363)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

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  (516): Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA http://tfl.nu/40i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.

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  (662): I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck. http://tfl.nu/9thm
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  ... and if i was..

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. You.

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  (213): Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten. (201): ... and if i was.. (213): Fuck. You. http://tfl.nu/ty6i
  Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.

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  (919): I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water. http://tfl.nu/3pkl
  Replies (1) Good night (817) Bad night (401)

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