Texts From Last Night

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  (936): View more from Texas

  Bea Arthur died! :(

  (214): View more from Texas

  What?

  (936): View more from Texas

  Big bird passed.

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  (936):Bea Arthur died! :( (214):What? (936):Big bird passed. http://tfl.nu/7dhn
  Replies (8) Good night (750) Bad night (1247)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

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  (201): Having kids is risky. They might end up weird. http://tfl.nu/gtfl
  Replies (16) Good night (1333) Bad night (2129)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This explains so much.

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  (205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy
  Replies (30) Good night (18698) Bad night (1317)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6289) Bad night (1182)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (1198) Bad night (3052)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero

  (514): View more from Quebec

  like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride

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  (514): theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero (514): like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride http://tfl.nu/mbnj
  Replies (3) Good night (2255) Bad night (1337)
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  (916): View more from California

  I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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  (916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii
  Replies (9) Good night (1186) Bad night (2327)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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  (978): He's almost as awesome as vicodin. (513): Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you http://tfl.nu/u3r1
  Replies (8) Good night (2581) Bad night (815)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.

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  (804): of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed. http://tfl.nu/rret
  Replies (2) Good night (1588) Bad night (668)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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  (804): time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever http://tfl.nu/4zua
  Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (727)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.

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  (250): By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so. http://tfl.nu/m028
  Replies (0) Good night (793) Bad night (339)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS

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  (610): YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS http://tfl.nu/d44z
  Replies (6) Good night (493) Bad night (848)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.

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  (404): I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week. http://tfl.nu/2i12
  Replies (6) Good night (652) Bad night (326)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...

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  (615): I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget (1-615): Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from... http://tfl.nu/z1jn
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (228)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.

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  (206): My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015. http://tfl.nu/zini
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (157)

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