The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...