Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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(819): View more from Quebec

FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.

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(410): View more from Maryland

well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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(256): View more from Alabama

Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.

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(858): View more from California

I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.

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