the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
