So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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