new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
