would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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