i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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