He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
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How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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