I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
