We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
