I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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