Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
