dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
