good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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