I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so let's talk penis.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
