i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
