absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this boner is exhausting
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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