im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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