So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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