He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
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Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize