Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
