Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
