we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
