Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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