u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
