i barfeds in our rink
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
not ubering you a puppy
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
