I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
