I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
