he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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