what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
