yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize