i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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