Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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