omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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