Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
