Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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