i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
