We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
