is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
