You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
