Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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