dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
how drunk are you?
Several
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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