Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
