Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
