I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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