She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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