found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
