Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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