Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
