this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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