But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
