R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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