our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
