all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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