i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
