Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
