I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We are two peas in an std pod
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
