3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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