your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
